Opposites may attract but how on earth can we get along? Quite well if we understand the value in personality differences. There is no such thing as a good or bad personality trait. Any trait, carried to the extreme may be negative, but there are positive and negative aspects to every trait. They are flip sides of the same coin. Before marriage we may realize these traits complement each other.
Do Opposites Attract? Here’s What Science Says
Usually, the idiom is repeated as a reaction to an existing couple that seems mismatched for any number of reasons—food preferences, vacation styles, even astrological signs. But sometimes, it seems, the pendulum can swing too far in the other direction, and serve as the sole reason for cutting things off. Like when a friend complains about having nothing in common with someone they went out with on Zoom or IRL , and cites that lack of mutual interests as the reason for it never being able to work.
They can vary from person to person, but some common examples may include a stance on having kids, religious beliefs, or wanting to travel versus putting down roots. In contrast, wants , Elson and Wright say, are more of a bonus. The results support that sharing intimate thoughts and feelings and feeling appreciated by a partner are just as important for relationship success as maintaining autonomy by having separate interests and being able to make decisions without worrying about the partner being upset.
Relationships: opposites do not attract, scientists prove on a blind date,” said Angela Bahns, professor of psychology at Wellesly College.
By Sarah Knapton , Science Editor. The theory that opposites attract is a myth, scientists have found, after discovering that people are only attracted to those who hold the same views and values as themselves. It suggests that strangers hoping to hit it off would do better to play to their similarities rather than trying to impress the other person with attributes which make them unique. Will they connect? Or walk away? Those early recognitions of similarity are really consequential in that decision.
To find out how important similarity was to forming relationships researchers from Wellesly and the University of Kansas approached more than 1, random pairs, including romantic couples, friends and acquaintances, and asked them to complete a survey about their values, prejudices , attitudes and personality traits. The information was then compared to see how similar or different each pair was and to see whether people in longer relationships had more in common.
In a second experiment, the researchers surveyed pairs who had just met in a college classroom setting, and then surveyed the same pairs later. There was virtually no change in beliefs over time suggesting that if couples go into a relationship hoping to change the opinions of the other it is unlikely to work.
No, opposites don’t attract for most of us when it comes to romance
However, at some point in our lives most of us need to face the fact that relationships require effort to keep them strong and positive, and that even wonderful, strong relationships can be destroyed by neglect. Although the different types of relationships have very different characteristics and specific needs, there are two basic areas which seem to be critical in all relationships: Expectations and Communication.
What do we expect from ourselves and the other person involved in the relationship?
There’s always been wonder toward why opposites attract. Dating someone who’s very different from is a never ending test of patience.
Matthew D. Johnson does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article. He has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond his academic appointment and his authorship of a book mentioned in the article. Everyone seems to agree that opposites attract. Young and old people, happy and distressed couples, single folks and married partners — all apparently buy the classic adage about love.
Relationship experts have written books based on this assumption. Whether people really find opposites more attractive has been the subject of many scientific studies. Researchers have investigated what combination makes for better romantic partners — those who are similar, different, or opposite? Scientists call these three possibilities the homogamy hypothesis, the heterogamy hypothesis and the complementarity hypothesis, respectively. The clear winner is homogamy. Since the s, social scientists have conducted over studies to determine whether similarity in terms of attitudes , personality traits , outside interests , values and other characteristics leads to attraction.
They found an irrefutable association between being similar to and being interested in the other person.
Opposites Attract: 10 Reasons To Date Your Polar Opposite
Even though it makes sense to date some who’s a lot like you, don’t rule out the idea of dating someone who is your opposite , either. If your partner happens to have a different outlook on life, different personality traits, and even different interests, it can make for a fun and interesting relationship.
And it might even make you a stronger couple, in a lot of ways, too. Core beliefs [ It might not work out, for example, if you don’t define cheating in the same way. Or if you have a drastically different stance on finances.
Do opposites really attract? Do Not Limit Your Online Dating. Even opposites it makes sense to date some who’s a lot like you, don’t.
They say opposites attract, but there’s way more to a relationship than just attraction. Whether you think things work best when you’re two peas in a pod or if you have totally different interests and personalities, one thing’s for sure: you can’t knock it till you try it. Here, nine women open up about what did or didn’t work about dating someone very different from them.
In one of my longest relationships, my partner was a few years older and more of the homebody type, which meant that going out for drinks was something I could do with my friends. He was also really into working out, and I learned a lot from him. But this guy I went out with was so smug and rude. He was making lots of comments about it. We had no common ground and nothing to talk about.
He was a jerk.
This Is How You Know If Dating Your Opposite Is Really Going To Work
You know those couples that seem to have nothing in common? They look to be the complete opposite of one another, yet they seem to mesh. Do opposites really attract? And, when It comes to online dating, why do opposites attract? But should you have given that person a second chance?
Opposites attract, and likes repel. When it comes to magnetism, this principle is axiomatic. But does it also hold true for romantic relationships?
This story line, common in books and movies, sometimes pops up in real life, too. But can relationships between opposites really succeed? Do opposites truly attract each other in the first place? Your true opposite would be unlike you in every way, which would probably make it somewhat difficult to get along. Perhaps, at first glance, your parents seem completely different: Your mother is short-tempered, forgetful, and dedicated to order, while your patient, untidy father has the memory of an elephant.
People can have seemingly conflicting personalities without being total opposites — clearly your parents are, deep down, pretty similar.
Is There Any Truth to “Opposites Attract”?
Do opposites attract? Do birds of a feather flock together? The age -old questions remains up for discussion today. A seemingly apparent and simple matter is actually much more complex than it is on the surface.
Recently a TV show called Dating in the Dark asked three women participants to smell the recently worn shirts of their three male counterparts and identify who.
Welcome to my blog. I document my adventures in travel, style, and food. Hope you have a nice stay! Opposites don’t attract. This may seem surprising, but it turns out that even if people appear different, what attracts them is about personal values and how they view the world. Here are just a couple of the things relationship researchers from Wellesley and the University of Kansas found helped form strong partnerships.
People who have similar personalities tend to be happier together, according to a study. Although the more similar the better, it turns out certain aspects of your personality are more important than other types. One of the most important personality types is how agreeable you and your partner are, as well as stability. Researchers were surprised to discover that personality doesn’t actually have to be the same, as long as the couple perceived each other to be the same. While Cinderella marrying the prince makes a wonderful story, couples are often happier if they have come from the same background.
When you understand and are empathetic to the trials and tribulations of your childhood, it can make it easier to bond. One study even found that long term couples can gradually become more like each other over time.